With our first baby, we used to bath her at various times during the day. We began to realise, however, that after the bath she would always sleep for a little longer than usual. So we decided from then on that bath time should be reserved until just before bed time. I personally believe that this is a key factor in encouraging your baby to sleep through the night.
We never bath the baby at any other time, so the baby begins to learn that bath time signals the end of the day and the beginning of a routine that will culminate in a long, satisfying sleep.
It is always important to make sure that the bath water isn't too hot for baby's delicate skin, but ideally it should still be a little warm, so it is soothing and relaxing.
We bath our babies in our ensuite bathroom sink. It is big enough to allow for a good wash, but confined enough to replicate the restricted environment of the womb, which I believe helps to calm the baby.
We spend time making sure the baby makes the most of it, and they invariably find it deeply relaxing. Our last two babies have fallen asleep in the bath on more than one occasion! We never try to excite the baby, just talk to her softly and wash her gently.
Another factor which I think is vitally important is the use of a lavender bath soap. We use Johnsons and Johnsons, and we really do feel that the calming lavender scent helps to promote a good sleep. We use it for baby's head and body.
We use a special, extra soft towel to dry the baby (a harder towel would be like sandpaper againgst their delicate skin) and make sure to thoroughly dry inside all the little arm, neck and leg creases. We make sure that the atmosphere is quiet and relaxed. We keep the change table in our room so we don't have to move around much to attend to baby's needs, and we keep the lights on reasonably low so the baby knows it is winding down time.
I should add a word of caution here: Please never leave a baby or toddler unattended in a bath, even if you think they are safely seated in some kind of bath device. Accidents can and do happen in an instant. Also, please never leave your baby unattended on a change table. You never know when she will wriggle or roll for the first time, and it might just be when your back is turned.
Friday, August 28, 2009
5. Put baby to bed the same time as you
We have always put our babies to bed at the same time as we go to bed, usually 10 or 11 p.m. We get ourselves ready for bed and then go through the baby's night time routine, so by the time she is finally placed in her crib we are also ready to head straight into bed and turn out the lights.
There are a few reasons why we do this. Firstly, we have always wanted to have our babies in our room, for their own comfort and security, so we can get to them quickly when they need us, and also for simple convenience. However, I have already noted how important I feel it is to not disturb the baby during the night time sleep, and so if we went to bed later than the baby there would always be the risk of waking her with sounds, light etc.
Secondly, in our experience, babies usually have a longer stretch of night sleep, followed by a feed, and then a shorter stretch. We have always seen little point in being awake while the baby is enjoying the first round of night sleep. We might as well make the most of baby's sleep time by making sure we are resting ourselves. If, for example, you put your baby to bed at 7pm, and she sleeps for 6 hours, wakes for a quick feed and goes down for 4 hours more, if you don't go to bed until 11pm, then you only have 3 hours of sleep before the baby wakes! Whereas if you both go to bed at 11pm, then you will enjoy all the sleep that baby will allow!
Thirdly, have you ever been in a room full of sleepy people, and then suddenly felt as if you have been hit by the sleep bug yourself? It sounds strange, but I sometimes wonder if baby is more inclined to go to sleep and stay asleep if they are in a room with other sleeping people.
Once baby is sleeping well through the night, then you can always bring her 'going to bed' time forward gradually every night, by about 15 minutes or so, until it is set at a time that you feel might be appropriate to maintain from then on. In our experience, this doesn't impact on a firmly established routine/pattern. Likewise, if you want to make your baby's 'going to bed time' later, it is best to do it gradually in the same way. If you suddenly try to make it later by a longer time, then it is likely that the baby will wake up at her usual time, and so enjoy a shorter amount of sleep and be irritable because of that.
There are a few reasons why we do this. Firstly, we have always wanted to have our babies in our room, for their own comfort and security, so we can get to them quickly when they need us, and also for simple convenience. However, I have already noted how important I feel it is to not disturb the baby during the night time sleep, and so if we went to bed later than the baby there would always be the risk of waking her with sounds, light etc.
Secondly, in our experience, babies usually have a longer stretch of night sleep, followed by a feed, and then a shorter stretch. We have always seen little point in being awake while the baby is enjoying the first round of night sleep. We might as well make the most of baby's sleep time by making sure we are resting ourselves. If, for example, you put your baby to bed at 7pm, and she sleeps for 6 hours, wakes for a quick feed and goes down for 4 hours more, if you don't go to bed until 11pm, then you only have 3 hours of sleep before the baby wakes! Whereas if you both go to bed at 11pm, then you will enjoy all the sleep that baby will allow!
Thirdly, have you ever been in a room full of sleepy people, and then suddenly felt as if you have been hit by the sleep bug yourself? It sounds strange, but I sometimes wonder if baby is more inclined to go to sleep and stay asleep if they are in a room with other sleeping people.
Once baby is sleeping well through the night, then you can always bring her 'going to bed' time forward gradually every night, by about 15 minutes or so, until it is set at a time that you feel might be appropriate to maintain from then on. In our experience, this doesn't impact on a firmly established routine/pattern. Likewise, if you want to make your baby's 'going to bed time' later, it is best to do it gradually in the same way. If you suddenly try to make it later by a longer time, then it is likely that the baby will wake up at her usual time, and so enjoy a shorter amount of sleep and be irritable because of that.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
4. Feed baby as much as possible during the day
I am a big supporter of 'breast is best' and I have always breastfed my babies. As soon as they are born I put them to my breast for as much time as possible so they can benefit from the colostrum and so it helps to trigger an abundant supply of milk. My last baby was on my breast most of the time for the first day or two after she was born and only really left my breast to have a cuddle with her Dad or to have her diaper (nappy) changed.
In the early days and weeks I try to breastfeed them as much as possible during the day. Usually this means breastfeeding every two and a half hours or so (from the time I start start one breastfeed until the time I start another), for as long as the baby likes. I have always thought that it's like 'filling up the tank', preparing them for a long stretch of night time sleeping.
This might seem like a long time to spend feeding, but I think the benefits of an unbroken night sleep outweigh the drawbacks of commiting yourself to so much time breastfeeding. Besides, I have always found it quite relaxing. It helps a lot with bonding and it's a good reason to just chill out and enjoy precious time with your new arrival. I also feel that all that feeding and closeness to Mom helps to make baby feel satisfied and secure, and a contented baby is probably more inclined to sleep well.
It might be worth mentioning here that it's important for Mom to eat a good diet and be well nourished in order to produce an abundant supply of high quality milk. Don't forget to look after yourself! The baby's health and wellbeing is dependent on your own.
I do realise and respect the fact that there are many women who, for various reasons, choose not to breastfeed their babies, but unfortunately I don't know anything about bottle feeding in order to offer advice. I have been through many different issues with breastfeeding though, so if anyone has any questions or concerns on this topic please feel free to email me. I will be happy to help if I can!
In the early days and weeks I try to breastfeed them as much as possible during the day. Usually this means breastfeeding every two and a half hours or so (from the time I start start one breastfeed until the time I start another), for as long as the baby likes. I have always thought that it's like 'filling up the tank', preparing them for a long stretch of night time sleeping.
This might seem like a long time to spend feeding, but I think the benefits of an unbroken night sleep outweigh the drawbacks of commiting yourself to so much time breastfeeding. Besides, I have always found it quite relaxing. It helps a lot with bonding and it's a good reason to just chill out and enjoy precious time with your new arrival. I also feel that all that feeding and closeness to Mom helps to make baby feel satisfied and secure, and a contented baby is probably more inclined to sleep well.
It might be worth mentioning here that it's important for Mom to eat a good diet and be well nourished in order to produce an abundant supply of high quality milk. Don't forget to look after yourself! The baby's health and wellbeing is dependent on your own.
I do realise and respect the fact that there are many women who, for various reasons, choose not to breastfeed their babies, but unfortunately I don't know anything about bottle feeding in order to offer advice. I have been through many different issues with breastfeeding though, so if anyone has any questions or concerns on this topic please feel free to email me. I will be happy to help if I can!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
3. Keep the crib for night sleeping only
Each of our babies has slept in a crib (cot) next to our bed. Our fourth baby is still in our room.
With our first baby, we would put her in her crib for her day time sleeps as well as her night time sleep. However, for each subsequent baby, we reserved the crib for night time sleeping only. We thought that the baby might in some way begin to associate the crib with her long, quiet, cosy sleep in the dark hours of the night, and so being put in there might help to encourage a learned response.
It was also another way of clearly differenciating between day and night.
So, during the day, we would always either carry baby or leave her in the rocker bouncer somewhere near to us, set in a semi-reclined position. Of course, babies sleep on and off for most of the day, but this way their day time sleeps were in daylight and surrounded by normal household sounds and activity. Therefore, a very long day time sleep wasn't encouraged, and the numerous sleep factors of the extended night time sleep were accentuated through contrast.
We only did this in order to make a clear difference between day and night and to establish a good sleeping routine from early on. Once our babies were about 3 months old, we started to put them in the crib for day time sleeps too (though never in darkness), but by this time a good night sleeping routine had been firmly eastablished.
I should add a word of caution here: Please never place the rocker bouncer on an elevated surface or any surface that isn't hard and flat. We have only ever placed it on the floor and always where we can see it.
With our first baby, we would put her in her crib for her day time sleeps as well as her night time sleep. However, for each subsequent baby, we reserved the crib for night time sleeping only. We thought that the baby might in some way begin to associate the crib with her long, quiet, cosy sleep in the dark hours of the night, and so being put in there might help to encourage a learned response.
It was also another way of clearly differenciating between day and night.
So, during the day, we would always either carry baby or leave her in the rocker bouncer somewhere near to us, set in a semi-reclined position. Of course, babies sleep on and off for most of the day, but this way their day time sleeps were in daylight and surrounded by normal household sounds and activity. Therefore, a very long day time sleep wasn't encouraged, and the numerous sleep factors of the extended night time sleep were accentuated through contrast.
We only did this in order to make a clear difference between day and night and to establish a good sleeping routine from early on. Once our babies were about 3 months old, we started to put them in the crib for day time sleeps too (though never in darkness), but by this time a good night sleeping routine had been firmly eastablished.
I should add a word of caution here: Please never place the rocker bouncer on an elevated surface or any surface that isn't hard and flat. We have only ever placed it on the floor and always where we can see it.
2. Make a clear difference between day and night
With each of our babies, we have differenciated between day and night from the very beginning. However, we have gradually become much stricter about this with each new child, as we began to recognise its importance as a contributing sleep factor.
With our first two babies, I didn't need to spend a night in hospital. However, with the third and fourth I did. So, I wrote a note in my file requesting that all doctors and nurses who visited during the night hours did so very quietly, and only turned on the lights to a very dim setting. I was lucky enough to be in my own room each time, but I realise this request would have been a lot more difficult in a shared ward, with other mothers, other babies, doctors and nurses all making a noise. If you happen to be reading this before you have had your baby, then I would strongly advise making arrangements to have your own hospital room if that is at all possible.
Both at hospital and when baby has come home, we make sure that any activity and movement in the bedroom is kept to a bare minimum during the night. As soon as baby is in bed, we keep the lights off. If the baby wakes, we make sure we go to her right away and respond quietly and gently. If we do need to say anything, we say it in a very hushed tone. We use a very dim bedside light and make as little fuss as possible.
Conversely, during the day we don't try to minimise noise levels at all. We make sure the baby is always in light, we don't discourage the children from playing around the baby, we talk and interact normally, and generally make sure the baby is in and amongst all the normal, daytime activity.
With our first two babies, I didn't need to spend a night in hospital. However, with the third and fourth I did. So, I wrote a note in my file requesting that all doctors and nurses who visited during the night hours did so very quietly, and only turned on the lights to a very dim setting. I was lucky enough to be in my own room each time, but I realise this request would have been a lot more difficult in a shared ward, with other mothers, other babies, doctors and nurses all making a noise. If you happen to be reading this before you have had your baby, then I would strongly advise making arrangements to have your own hospital room if that is at all possible.
Both at hospital and when baby has come home, we make sure that any activity and movement in the bedroom is kept to a bare minimum during the night. As soon as baby is in bed, we keep the lights off. If the baby wakes, we make sure we go to her right away and respond quietly and gently. If we do need to say anything, we say it in a very hushed tone. We use a very dim bedside light and make as little fuss as possible.
Conversely, during the day we don't try to minimise noise levels at all. We make sure the baby is always in light, we don't discourage the children from playing around the baby, we talk and interact normally, and generally make sure the baby is in and amongst all the normal, daytime activity.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
1.Pregnancy: eat well, avoid stress, rest
I believe that encouraging a placid, laid-back temperament in your child starts when they are still in the womb. Of course, each child will have his/her own personality traits regardless of any external influences, but it can't hurt to offer your child the best environment within which to grow from the very start of his/her life.
In each of my pregnancies, I have completely refrained from caffeine and alcohol (and, of course, cigarettes, but I gave those up a long time before we even thought of conceiving). I also took a pregnancy supplement and tried my best to eat a healthy diet. Our family is mainly vegetarian but we do eat a lot of fish. I always try to keep sugary and refined foods to a minimum even when I'm not pregnant, but when I'm pregnant I feel that it's especially important to be mindful of the sugar content in food. I have never liked the idea of such a small, precious, growing baby being strung out on a sugar/caffeine/alcohol high!
I have also tried my best to feel as stress free and happy as possible in each of my pregnancies. Obviously stress factors were often beyond my control, but I did everything I could within my control.
Having some support during your pregnancy is invaluable, someone to share the load and help with everyday chores/housework/childcare. I tried to put my feet up and relax as much as possible. I know some people think that babies are more active in the womb when you are resting, because the rocking sensation of movement helps them to sleep (just like when they are outside of the womb). So, by resting as much as possible during the day while you are pregnant, you are encouraging the baby to be awake during this time and hence discouraging a 'sleep during the day-wake during night' cycle.
Watching a comical movie, listening to my favourite music, reading a good book etc. all helped to keep me relaxed and happy.
I also treated myself to a foot massage every now and again and took time to do other things I enjoy, like shopping and researching baby names. Pets are also a big stress-buster. I am a dog lover, and taking my dogs for a walk and petting them really helps to relax me.
I have also heard that some people believe eating a vegetarian diet helps to lower stress levels. Obviously a good diet rich in fruit and vegetables will help to create a healthy body, which is a precursor for a healthy mind. However, certain individuals also think that when animals are killed for their meat, they release a fear hormone which is then consumed by the person who eats them. I can't say whether or not I know this to be true, but it is food for thought nevertheless.
Exercise is often cited as a stress buster. I agree and wish I did more, but I can't honestly say that I've gone out of my way to do much exercise in any of my pregnancies. I have, however, been active with everyday household responsibilities, and so perhaps that has helped to release those feel good exercise endorphins.
I think that getting a good night's sleep also helps to combat stress. Tiredness can exacerbate worry. In that regard, if you do feel excessively tired after the first 3 months of pregnancy (when extreme tiredness is normal, especially in the first pregnancy) then do talk to your doctor about it. I have had both iron deficiency in the past (extremely common during pregnancy and cured with a simple one-a-day pill) and hypothyroidism (of which tiredness is a major symptom, and, again, it can be completely managed with a pill).
Finally, don't sweat the small stuff, choose your battles carefully and try to avoid confrontation. Take a few deep breaths and relax. If you are feeling happy and chilled out, then your baby might feel encouraged to ride with the vibe too!
In each of my pregnancies, I have completely refrained from caffeine and alcohol (and, of course, cigarettes, but I gave those up a long time before we even thought of conceiving). I also took a pregnancy supplement and tried my best to eat a healthy diet. Our family is mainly vegetarian but we do eat a lot of fish. I always try to keep sugary and refined foods to a minimum even when I'm not pregnant, but when I'm pregnant I feel that it's especially important to be mindful of the sugar content in food. I have never liked the idea of such a small, precious, growing baby being strung out on a sugar/caffeine/alcohol high!
I have also tried my best to feel as stress free and happy as possible in each of my pregnancies. Obviously stress factors were often beyond my control, but I did everything I could within my control.
Having some support during your pregnancy is invaluable, someone to share the load and help with everyday chores/housework/childcare. I tried to put my feet up and relax as much as possible. I know some people think that babies are more active in the womb when you are resting, because the rocking sensation of movement helps them to sleep (just like when they are outside of the womb). So, by resting as much as possible during the day while you are pregnant, you are encouraging the baby to be awake during this time and hence discouraging a 'sleep during the day-wake during night' cycle.
Watching a comical movie, listening to my favourite music, reading a good book etc. all helped to keep me relaxed and happy.
I also treated myself to a foot massage every now and again and took time to do other things I enjoy, like shopping and researching baby names. Pets are also a big stress-buster. I am a dog lover, and taking my dogs for a walk and petting them really helps to relax me.
I have also heard that some people believe eating a vegetarian diet helps to lower stress levels. Obviously a good diet rich in fruit and vegetables will help to create a healthy body, which is a precursor for a healthy mind. However, certain individuals also think that when animals are killed for their meat, they release a fear hormone which is then consumed by the person who eats them. I can't say whether or not I know this to be true, but it is food for thought nevertheless.
Exercise is often cited as a stress buster. I agree and wish I did more, but I can't honestly say that I've gone out of my way to do much exercise in any of my pregnancies. I have, however, been active with everyday household responsibilities, and so perhaps that has helped to release those feel good exercise endorphins.
I think that getting a good night's sleep also helps to combat stress. Tiredness can exacerbate worry. In that regard, if you do feel excessively tired after the first 3 months of pregnancy (when extreme tiredness is normal, especially in the first pregnancy) then do talk to your doctor about it. I have had both iron deficiency in the past (extremely common during pregnancy and cured with a simple one-a-day pill) and hypothyroidism (of which tiredness is a major symptom, and, again, it can be completely managed with a pill).
Finally, don't sweat the small stuff, choose your battles carefully and try to avoid confrontation. Take a few deep breaths and relax. If you are feeling happy and chilled out, then your baby might feel encouraged to ride with the vibe too!
Our babies and their sleeping habits
When our first child was born, almost eight years ago, we established a routine that we thought encouraged a good nights sleep.
To begin with, she slept for 4 hours, woke for a quick feed, slept for 4 hours more, woke for another quick feed, then slept for 4 hours more. This seemed quite manageable as it meant that we only had to wake once a night (during our usual 8 hours of sleep). When she was about 4 weeks old, she started to wake for a feed after about 6 hours of sleep, and then she would go straight back to sleep for another 6 hours. By about 3 months, she was sleeping 12 hours straight through the night.
When our second child was born, we used the same routine, and from the start she slept for about 6 hours during the night, woke for a quick feed, then slept for 4-6 hours more. She was sleeping for 12 hours right through the night by the time she was 2 months old.
Our third child followed more or less the same pattern as our second, but was sleeping for 12 hours right through the night by the time she was 6 weeks old.
By the time our fourth child was born, we had incorporated a few more sleep-encouraging factors into our routine, and she slept for 8 hours straight though the night from the very start. She would then wake for a quick feed and sleep for 4 or 5 hours more. By the time she was a month old she was sleeping for 12 hours straight.
I will outline our entire routine on this blog, so other parents who feel that they want to explore ways to encourage their baby to sleep longer during the night might like to try our ideas. That being said, what we do may not suit other families, and that is fine. The information is here for you to take it or leave it. I don't wish to court controversy. I just want to help anybody else if I can.
To begin with, she slept for 4 hours, woke for a quick feed, slept for 4 hours more, woke for another quick feed, then slept for 4 hours more. This seemed quite manageable as it meant that we only had to wake once a night (during our usual 8 hours of sleep). When she was about 4 weeks old, she started to wake for a feed after about 6 hours of sleep, and then she would go straight back to sleep for another 6 hours. By about 3 months, she was sleeping 12 hours straight through the night.
When our second child was born, we used the same routine, and from the start she slept for about 6 hours during the night, woke for a quick feed, then slept for 4-6 hours more. She was sleeping for 12 hours right through the night by the time she was 2 months old.
Our third child followed more or less the same pattern as our second, but was sleeping for 12 hours right through the night by the time she was 6 weeks old.
By the time our fourth child was born, we had incorporated a few more sleep-encouraging factors into our routine, and she slept for 8 hours straight though the night from the very start. She would then wake for a quick feed and sleep for 4 or 5 hours more. By the time she was a month old she was sleeping for 12 hours straight.
I will outline our entire routine on this blog, so other parents who feel that they want to explore ways to encourage their baby to sleep longer during the night might like to try our ideas. That being said, what we do may not suit other families, and that is fine. The information is here for you to take it or leave it. I don't wish to court controversy. I just want to help anybody else if I can.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Sleep tight sweet baby
This is our baby girl on her first night home from hospital. She slept 8 hours straight without waking at all, and continued to do so every night from then on. We were so happy our methods for encouraging sleep had worked, but nevertheless still a little worried in case her sleepiness was indicative of a problem. So we went to the doctor who reassured us that everything was ok...she was happy, healthy and thriving, and we were 'just very lucky to have such a super sleeper!' But we know it wasn't just down to luck..."Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." Maureen Hawkins
How to make your baby sleep through the night
My three great passions are babies, dogs and writing. I am the mother of four young children and, over the years, my husband and I have tried and tested a number of techniques which have encouraged our children to be great sleepers from the very beginning.
I know that having adequate rest is extremely important for moms and dads, so they can function at their optimum and have enough energy to be the best parents they can be. So, I am creating this blog to share what I know, and, hopefully, help many other parents out there.
"When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become." Louis Pasteur
I know that having adequate rest is extremely important for moms and dads, so they can function at their optimum and have enough energy to be the best parents they can be. So, I am creating this blog to share what I know, and, hopefully, help many other parents out there.
"When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become." Louis Pasteur
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